Disgruntled Ex Employee

Lord knows I have had my share of bad decisions and regrets in my career. This particular one had to do with a jock I hired whom had little experience.  When I first hired this woman she convinced me that she was devoted to her craft and working to get better.  She had a level head and came off as hungry to move up in this business.

Fast forward a year and this girl was not the same person whom I had hired.  Yes, she had grown exceptionally better on the air but her ego began to get out of hand.

I pulled her into my office and had a small chat with her.  I saw this as a situation that could be corrected by talking things through.  I had no intention of firing her.  As soon as she began to realize the point of the meeting, she got defensive.  I told her to calm down and that there was nothing to get upset over.  She grew even more defensive.

I don't know what was going on in that head of hers but I guess she had assumed I was going to fire her.   She then made an immediate threat against me.  She had said basically if I would fire her that she would come after me.  Tell my wife I had sex with her, contact the FCC telling them I was doing illegal activities, and even threatening my personal safety.

I was blown away how crazy she got.  I had never seen this side of her before.  I explained that I wasn't going to fire her but after what she had said she left me no choice.  I terminated her on the spot.  She blew her top and was screaming on the top of her lungs.  I called security to remove her from the station and she continued to yell as they took her away.

I can only wish that was the end of it.

Covering my tracks I called my wife and explained to her what had happened in case she made good on her promise to tell her I slept with her.  Eventually, she did reach out and tell her this.  I wasn't doing anything illegal so her contacting the FCC did not scare me.  As for my personal safety, I was afraid of her in the least.

The next week I was contacted by a news reporter asking questions.  Apparently the ex employee had contacted the media telling them all kinds of crazy stories and they were calling me trying to get a comment.  Then this girl had gone online and left Facebook reviews about  the radio station saying things like I forced her to have sex with me in order for her to get hired.  Then that I also lured young girls into the studio late at night when no one is there to sleep with them behind my wifes back.  This was bad because you cant really remove Facebook reviews.

That wasn't the end of it.  I was doing a broadcast remote and as I was on air she came up from behind me and began yelling obscenities into the mic.  All of this was in front of the business owner whom owned the business we were broadcasting from.  She even protested outside our radio station a time or two that we were bad for the community, we all did drugs, and cheated on our spouses.

A few weeks went by and she seemed to stop with her harassment.  I thought that it was over.  A few weeks later she shows up in the parking lot by my vehicle waiting for me.  As I approached I knew this wouldn't end well.  She then began to tell me she was sorry, she did not mean to do all those things to me and begged for her job back.  I told her hell no and she said she wouldn't do anything like this again even though I rejected her.  I don't believe her.

This woman was absolutely crazy.

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Celebrity With Horrible Breath

I went into work one day and found out I was going to be interviewing one of the most famous musicians I had ever interviewed. I wont say who but lets just say this guy is a living legend.  I was looking forward to it the entire day.  Whomever said meeting your idols wasn't always cracked up to be, wasn't wrong.  The musician arrived at the station with his people and I was instantly starstruck.  I had moved in closer to shake his hand and introduce myself when I took a wiff of his breath.

WOW!

It was bad, like really bad.  Of course I was polite and did not say anything.  Naturally when a bigtime celebrity comes to the radio station a crowd gathers.  He was meeting people, taking pictures, and interacting with people.  His breath was so bad there was no way no one smelled it.

During the interview on the air I felt disgusting.  I could smell his breath within the linking of my nostrils.  As excited as I was to interview him I couldn't be happier when it was all over.  As he was preparing to leave the station myself and also a few other people saw him to the door and politely saw him and his people off.

I still did not say anything to anyone about it but the moment I walked back into the studio the smell was still lingering inside.  Never in my entire career did I ever wish the studio windows would open to let in the fresh air.

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Dream Job Not So Good After All

At the time when this happened, I had been in radio for well over 15 years when I landed what I would consider my dream gig.  For the sake of posting anonymous, I will just say that the city that this gig was in was a city that is close to the beach, and receives millions of visitors each year.

I remember being so happy.  

Shortly after I arrived and was settling into my new city/station, I was told that I was going to have a new co-host.  It was not a negotiation, it was a moved that was being forced upon me.  I didn't care for the idea of sharing my show but I also did not bitch and complain about it either.  As it would turn out, adding a new dynamic to the show wound up being for the better.  Our ratings were excellent and growing with every book.  We would bounce topics and ideas at one another and our on air banter became very comical and entertaining.  Things seemed to be going great.  The fact that the co-host and I (who became really good friends) were successful made having such a sweet market to work in so much better.

Time passed, but after an (undisclosed amount of time) my contract was coming up.  There was no indication that I wasn't going to be renewed so the news that I had to start looking for a new gig surprised me.  When I found out that I was going to be replaced my co-host came to my house.  He told me he was going to stick by my side and leave with me in hopes the two of us could be picked up by a new affiliate.  

It was a bold and loyal move, one that he could make since he was young and did not have a family to be worried about.  I was so impressed that he chose to stay loyal to me instead of the station, I began looking for new gigs for the two of us.   Several weeks had passed and we were not able to find work.  I began to suspect that my co-host had regretted leaving the station.  But to my dismay he never mentioned it.  We kept looking for radio jobs together.  

A few weeks later I was approached by a station in a top 20 market.  They were interested in me and wanted to meet.  I told them I would love to and to set it up for both of us to fly to them.  They then mentioned that they were only interested in me and not my partner.  I quickly turned down the meeting.  I felt I had to be loyal to my partner since he displayed such loyalty to me.  To me, it was both of us, or neither.

About two weeks had passed when I got a text message from my co-host who said he accepted his old job back at the station we just left.  Several months had passed by this time and they needed some people so they reached out to him.  I understood and wished him well.  I immediately reached out to the station that showed interest in me and it was already too late.  They were no longer interested.  

In the end, I never got another radio job again.  I had other companies interested in me during that first 6 months of unemployment but none as serious as the one who wanted to meet with me.  

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Unintended Inside Information

Like many stations, we monitor just about everything coming and going from the studio- on air, phone calls, internet, emails, Vox Pro, etc.  I was never really a fan of spying on my on air talent so I never really had much of a means to use any of the spying tools available.  I always thought if they do their job well, there's no need to micromanage them. 

I once had a jock who used to think he was god's gift to radio.  I have to be honest, I did not like him.  I am a professional so I knew as long as he kept his nose clean, his ratings up, and his attitude right that we would be okay.  One day I got several emails that the Vox Pro was working slower than usual and also a notification that the storage on it was getting low.  I decided to take care of the issue personally since everyone else seems to be busy.  I took the Vox Pro into my office and began going through it to see what I could delete to free up some space.  I was going through the calls when I listened to some audio of what seemed like a phone conversation with an unknown man and my night jock.  To sum it up it was basically someone from a competing radio company within the market trying to lure my jock away from my station and onto a new station that would be switching formats as a direct competitor.  I could not understand why this conversation was happening on the listener line let alone why the night jock was recording it, but there it was.

I actually felt this was a lucky break since I had no idea that direct competition was in the works.  We gained much inside information based off the conversation alone.  This brought me to a point of what do I do about it?  This was especially confusing since the night jock had recently asked for a contract extension.  To make a long story short I spoke with some of the management and we decided that we were going to confront the night jock with my findings from the Vox Pro.

I called the jock into the station for a meeting and we confronted him.  Prior to the meeting I did not know for sure what we were going to do to him, I did know that he wasn't going to lose his job.  He got very defensive and said he did not know what we were talking about and that we had no proof of our accusations.  I then played him the recording and he knew he was busted.  He immediately started to verbally attack everyone.  I didn't have to fire him, he quit on his own.  Before he left the office I had explained to him that we weren't going to fire him.  He didn't care and stormed off exiting the building with a barrage of inappropriate expletives.  I knew this wasn't the end of it cause the jock had over-looked one small major detail, his contract had a non-compete clause in it!

A few days later the jock called me apologizing and asking if we could release him from his non-compete.  "Sorry, but no."

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Now That I Am Your Boss, You're Fired

I used to work alongside a certain someone for many years.  We always keep things civil but it was clear that the two of us did not get along.  Several years of being at the same station it appeared this individual got promoted to APD.  It was not the first time that I was overlooked, but it was painfully obvious that I had done much more for the radio station in a single year than he had done in his entire time he was employed for the station we worked for.  I did not think anything of it except the fact that the position was undeserving.  It was not long after that I was called into the program directors office and I was handed my walking papers.  This was a move that came entirely out of left field and I was convinced that the new APD had a hand in it.  My ratings were solid and I had a decent fanbase, I wasn't even making a lot of money a year so there was no justification on letting me go other than the fact that the APD did not like me.  On my way out I was not escorted by anyone and was trusted to leave on my own accord.  I wasn't going to do anything foolish, I was not one to sabotage a radio station or do anything that would jeopardize me finding another gig.  As I was leaving I waited on the elevator and by a simple stroke of luck the wife of the APD walked out as I was walking in.  I told her I was let go and that it was nice to have met her.  She said she was sorry and had wished me luck.  As we were wrapping up our conversation the APD walked out of the program directors office and saw me speaking to his wife.  He did not say anything but had a look on his face like he wanted me to hurry up and leave.  As I was leaving and the elevator door was closing I told the wife, "By the way, your husband cheats on you all the time.  In fact, he had gotten someone pregnant last year and paid for the abortion.  Good luck to you."  I do not know what had happened after that.  What I told her was not a lie, it was the truth.  Now that I was unemployed, I had nothing to lose by telling her.  Either way, I did not lose any sleep over it.

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A Terrible Secret Of The Ugly Boyfriend

Back in the early 2000's we had a really good looking midday jock.  She was hired about 2 months before I was so she was already in place by the time I finally started my show.  I was new to town so I did not know many people, so naturally I hung out with my coworkers on my off nights.  This girl was no supermodel however it was fairly noticeable that she was very attractive.  What stuck out in all our minds was the fact that she had a really ugly boyfriend.  The guy seemed nice but was clearly out of her league.  None of us could understand how he could land such a woman.  That is until we discovered that the midday girl had an extreme affection towards cocaine.  Later we found out that nice ugly man of hers was her dealer.

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I'm Back

So I have been away for a little while.  What can I say, I am enjoying my retirement.  I admit that I have no been keeping up with this blog and rarely check its email.  For some reason i decided to check it and found that I had quite a few stories waiting for me to post them.

Thank you all.  I had no idea this blog would be so popular.  I will go through the stories and edit them to make sure they do not reveal anyone's identity and also make sure that the story makes sense.  Some of the stories I get do not make sense so I reword a few to make it flow better.

Regardless, I will take more time to attend to the blog and continue to post stories as long as they come in.

Follow me on Twitter and don't forget to share the blog with your radio friends.  @FormerRadioJock

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Hey! Remember Me?

My radio career has taken me all over the country.  So I was stoked when I landed a gig in the city I grew up in.  Even though my parents had long passed away, it was still a biter-sweet homecoming.  I started my new job after I was all settled in and was optimistic that I was going to be with the radio station for a good while. 

A few months had gone by when one day I got a Facebook friend request from someone I used to go to high school with.  The note along with the request had read "Hey man!  Remember me?"

Of course I remembered this guy.  We spent four years in high school on the verge of beating each others ass.  He wasn't my bully, he was just very competitive with me over everything.  When I dated a girl, he dated the same girl after we broke up.  It was more than coincidence because this went on for four years.  He would also try to publicly humiliate me by doing stupid things that would try to make me look bad.  I'm not kidding when I say we almost got into over a hundreds fist fights.  We never fought but it was clear that the man was threatened by me back then.

15 years after high school this guy wanted to act like nothing had happened between us.  I realized that 15 years is a long time and people do change.  I know I have, so I let the grudge go and accepted his friend request.

Almost immediately the man instant messages me.  Saying things like "Hey how have you been?  So you're a famous radio star now huh?"  Plus other equally annoying questions.  I had only decided two seconds prior that I was going to accept his friend request and he was already acting like were have been best friends forever.  I was in the middle of a show and did not have time to chat so I told him I was working and didn't have time to talk.

That evening I logged onto Facebook from home and again, he immediately messaged me.  It did not take long for me to completely regret allowing this person back into my life and it did not take long for him to begin begging for tickets or other station perks.

A few months later my boss calls me into the station for a meeting.  I thought this would be a unscheduled jock meeting, but it wasn't.  My PD sat me down and asked about this "friend" by name.  I was a little surprised but told him he was someone I went to school with.  To make a long story short this "friend" showed up at a remote, and was bragging that I allowed him into the station after hours.  He even bragged that I allowed him to cover a few of my voice tracked shifts.  The man did not know the term voice track nor did he know that I was not in the actual studio when I was on the air late at night.  Apparently he was telling my coworkers that I let him go on the air to do my airshift.

I told the boss that it wasn't true and we eventually reviewed airchecks to prove it.  I wanted to kick this guys ass but in the end, I just cut all ties with him.  

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Bomb Threat

I will never forget this day.  I used to be the producer for a well-known medium sized market talk show.  One day the host was going off on the air about how we should not give into the demands of terrorist against America on any level and live our lives as we normally would.  He was saying things like no matter what, we should not budge or alter our plans or daily activities due to these evil people who want to kill Americans.  20 minutes later, the program director approaches me and tells me to cut to commercial immediately.  We did not mention this on the air but we had received a bomb threat and the entire building had to be evacuated.  Anyone who was listening had to be confused because we went from his on air rant about terrorist, to a pre-recorded segment about the economy that ran for a good 20 minutes.  That was how long we had to wait outside the station until we were cleared to go back into the building.  Before we went back onto the air live I asked the host if he was going to address what had just happened and he said no.  He said it would take away the credibility and integrity of everything he previously said, so no one outside the station knew.

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Merry Freaking Christmas

One year we had an epic Christmas party.  We had the company throw our annual Christmas party at the radio station instead of at our usual venue.  This saved enough money to where they could provide us with a fully stocked open bar for the entire evening.  We were a mom and pop radio station so our Christmas parties weren't always as lavish as the corporate parties I would experience later in my career.

We spent the early part of the party getting hammered.  Nothing special there, but once everyone got liquored up, people seemed a little more buddy buddy than they normally would during normal business hours.  One of the part time personalities was caught by his wife making out with the receptionist.  His wife started screaming at him causing a huge scene.  Then, she started hitting him.  We laughed and made jokes cause it was funny.  It wasn't long after those hits turned into punches.  His wife literally beat him up in front of the entire staff.  In the days after he pretended that he did not remember the incident but we all assumed he was so embarrassed that he was just lying.

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My P.D. Wanted To Have Sex With Me

I have had men come onto me my entire life, it is the price of being a 20-something woman who takes care of her body.  Some people have even rumored that my looks, plus sleeping around helped me get to where I am at today.  That could not be any more further from the truth, I busted my ass for the success I have experienced in radio.

This story is about the time where I was completely clueless on what I was going to do because my boss blatantly told me that he wanted me.  To make a long story short I once landed a gig at a station we one of my previous A.P.D.'s was currently employed at.  He helped me get the job since he was the new stations program director.  We hit it off like no time had passed and we were successful.  Keep in mind that I had known this man for probably 5 years before I started working at this new station.  About a year in I noticed my phone going off pretty late one night.  I answer it and it is him and he asks me if I can meet him.  I lived close to the radio station so I told him to meet me there.

Unsure about what or why the boss wanted to see me I met up with him anyway.  I really did not think anything of it.  He comes in the station and asks me to his office.  He then tells me that he can no longer bottle up his feelings for me.  He says that he was in love with me and wanted to leave his wife to be with me.  At first I thought he was joking but I quickly realized that he wasn't.  I was really good friends with this guy and it wasn't easy letting him down because of that fact- plus the fact that he was my boss.  I told him I wasn't interested and that it would be wrong of him to leave his family just for me.  He said he understood and offered a final suggestion that they did not have to know about the two of us.  I was absolutely shocked by what I was hearing.  Here was a man who was all about his family, his family-life, good moral values, etc. etc., and he was telling me all these immoral things.  I let him know that I was not comfortable with what he was telling me and that again, I wasn't interested. He said he understood and apologized repeatedly.

That night I could not sleep.  I kept thinking of how weird it was going to be at work from that moment on.  The next day when I arrived at work the operations manager was waiting for me and asked to speak with me.  The operations manager had asked me about my "relationship" with my boss.  I had told him nothing was going on, I did not even mention the fact that he had came onto me the night prior.  Apparently, he did not believe me.  He said that he had reason to believe that we had an inappropriate relationship and that I was going to be let go.  I thought "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"  It appears as if that morning my boss had told the operations manager that I was ruining his marriage and that I was in love with him.  He also convinced him that I was sexually harassing him and he threatened to quit and sue the station if something wasn't done done about it.  I was shocked and completely blindsided by all this.  I tried to explain to the operations manager what had happened and it did not change anything, he had said it was already a done deal and that I was out.  I was under contract so I would be paid my severance check but also had reminded me of my confidentiality agreement that I signed with I was first hired so I could not tell anyone why I was being let go.  I was livid.  I must have called my boss a million times in hopes that he would explain to me why he went to the operations manager just because I rejected him.  Of course, he was a coward and never answered his phone.

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Over Dramatic Sales Douche

For over 10 years I used to work for **CENSORED**.  I have many stories that I could share but one easily sticks out in my mind.  I walked into the radio station one day and I immediately heard someone yelling. I always loved some good radio drama so I went to investigate.  I walked around until the yelling grew louder and louder.  To no surprise it was our over dramatic sales douche.  This guy was always over-the-top, extremely loud, and was always bitching and complaining about something.  I got along with just about everyone in the building but this guy was one person that I just did not like.  I do not know the details but the sales buy was screaming on the top of his lungs that he was cheated out of some money from a new sales staff member.  He was literally yelling in his face and expressed how pissed off he was.  By this time the commotion had gone all around the station and the verbal argument had gained a small crowd- myself included.  It grew very awkward cause the new guy just stood there and took the abuse- all while looking at the over dramatic sales guy straight in the eyes.

Once the man stopped yelling I thought it was over, especially since several people tried to intervene to calm him down.  Amused, I left the sales area and attempted to begin my work day.  No more than 30 minutes had passed when I witnessed the security escort the over dramatic sales douche out of the building, causing yet another commotion as he was leaving.  Comes to find out that people from corporate programming were visiting the station and heard the entire thing.  I got to know the "new" guy since the incident and he told me that day he knew corporate personnel was in the building and that was why he did not give the man a proper response.

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The "Other Guy" Is Me

I had been working as a Dj for a few years when our sports guy quit.  The station paired me up with this new guy to do sports. He was a real jerk.  Loud, hateful, and treated women really bad.  He had a very hot girlfriend who had a small child. She would come along with us to games and since he treated her with no respect, I would go out of my way to treat her nice. Long story short we were covering a big basketball weekend and we were put up in a hotel after the games. During the middle of the night I get a knock at my door and it's her.  She was crying.  I invited her in to talk and not long one thing lead to another and we hooked up. I was flipping out he was gong to find out and I was gong to get fired. A few months later we were on a way to a game when he told me he thought she was cheating on him but couldn't not prove it. He would tell me how he was going to catch her but since it was me, I kept her once step ahead of him all the time. This went on for 6 years and he never found out. He moved on to another station and I lost touch with both of them. It was worse than a soap opera around here for years!

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When Ya Gotta Go Ya Gotta Go

I started my radio career in college radio. The studio was a converted classroom. Unfortunately for us, the toilet facilities were quite a bit of a ways away. Well, not too much, but if you had to go to the restroom, you had to walk down a hallway and up a flight of stairs. Being as this was back in the good ole days of vinyl and carts, jocks would have to rush things a bit if they had to use the facilities.

One of the late night jocks decided to dispense with that hassle and simply used the drinking fountain right outside the station door to relieve himself. We knew about this because he felt the need to let the rest of the station crew know about it the next day. I know they say that pee is sterile, but I could never ever again use that particular drinking fountain for its intended purpose after hearing that.

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My Gun Is Ordering You Off The Air

I worked for a radio station, in the commercial centre of a developing nation, where talent was frowned upon and loyalty reigned supreme. However, I happened to possess both attributes and leaned heavily on the latter to survive each day. While my bosses with vast experiences, spent a portion of their time schooling me on the better ways to handle shows and run the studio, they were also busy keeping an eye on the intern I might have had a hard on for.

A remarkable memory will have to be my first day at work, after months of speculation, accusations, counter accusations, I resumed on a fine Wednesday afternoon in April of 2007. I strolled round the premises, made a few acquaintances and spent the rest of my day in the Live studio double-banking with a senior presenter.

Around 6pm, we had a visit from the Program's Manager. With a thin smile and in the calmest voice possible, he asked us to sign off air. I thought it was a joke, but then I peered over his shoulder and saw two other men with guns I had only seen in spy movies. I whispered to my older colleague and it dawned on us almost immediately that we were being shut down by the Federal Government.   This was at the height of the political tension at the time as elections drew near.

There were assumptions, especially from supposed eyewitness accounts that the station was set up by the opposition to be used for propaganda during the elections. The Federal Government was not having that.
I thought my life was over.  I had waited three years, working a variety of odd jobs, and just when I saw the silver lining, men in guns dressed in impeccable danshiki (native wear) were politely rounding us up, and asking us to switch off all communication devices.

The Program's Manager and another senior colleague were taken away for questioning while the rest of us were asked to go home.  I spent four months out of a job again and even got ribbed about being the station's bad luck charm.  With the elections over and the incumbent party regaining power, the station was reopened and I got back to work.

Three years later, I picked up a recognition award for outstanding all round broadcasting excellence.  Since then, I've featured on other fledgling radio stations as a morning show host and Production Manager.

Currently, my wife and I are Media Consultants.

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Emails To FRJ

Wow, I have received amazing feedback to this blog.  Some of the feedback is from some of the top professionals in the radio industry so it is humbling that some of these people like what they see here.

However I would like to clarify something.  The majority of these stories are not mine.  I just repost what has been sent to me.  Most of the time I make edits so the story flows a little easier but that is about it.  All of these stories are real.

I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time out of their day to read some of these amazing radio-related stories.  Please, share your favorite links on your Facebook and or Twitter and tell your radio friends about us.

The more people who know about this blog the more stories will come in for all of us to share.

Follow on Twitter and like us on Facebook. Thanks again everyone.

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Music Pee'd The Dog Off

I am what some would call a workaholic, so much in fact that I had accumulated quite a bit of vacation days.  I was forced by the station to take some time off so I had planned on taking a vacation to Hawaii.

I was hours away from my departure when I received a phone call that my sister had been in an accident.  I canceled my trip and drove the nearby city where she lived.  I won't go in details but she was injured and in the hospital.  There was really nothing we could do until she was out of surgery.  None of our family lived close by so I kept in touch with most of them over the phone.  My folks were flying in to see her but would not be there until the next day.  I too had one more day of work before my official vacation had started so I decided I would drive back, voicetrack my shift, pack some clothes, and then drive back to the hospital.  I had been there all day and before I had left, the doctor told me my sister was out of surgery and awake. 

I went in to see my sister and she looked terrible.  However she assured me that she was okay.  After about an hour, I told her my plan and that I would be back to see her after I went back to track my final shift, and packed some clothes so I could be in town for a few days.  She had asked me if I could look after her dog.  She said by that time he had been left alone and she did not know if he had any food or water.  It wasn't a problem so I said yes.

I went to her house and fed the dog.  I then realized that I did not know when someone could make it back to feed him again so I decided to take him with me.  We drove back together and I made it to the radio station around 4PM.  It was a really hot summer day so I knew I could not leave him in the car.  So I took the risk and took him inside the station.  I only needed to voicetrack a four hour shift so it wasn't going to take me long.

I used an empty studio so I could knock out my voicetracking without any interruptions.  I finished my shift and left the dog in the studio so I could get ready to leave on my vacation.  After about 15 minutes I was ready to go and the only thing I had to do was grab the dog.  I walked into the studio and the smell punched me in the face.  I knew what had happened and I knew he peed somewhere.  Sure enough, I found it.

I knew I could not leave the station without telling anyone so I told my boss what had happened.  He told me not to worry about it and to get back to my sisters side.  I grabbed the dog and we were off.

My vacation wasn't spent like I planned.  I had spent the next several days mostly at the hospital, but I had some family fly in so I made the best of it. 

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Drunk And Naked In Vegas

I worked in Vegas for a few years. I just had a nasty divorce and what better town to get over an ex? Anyway, I had my share of fun and to say that I slept around would be an understatement.

Working in Vegas, you get certain perks (at least you used to). I used to frequent certain casinos that knew me by name. One of my favorites would set out my favorite drink when I would show up. Of course it was free of charge which is probably why it was my favorite. I had hit up my favorite casino with a girl I was trying to impress and we gambled and drank for free for several hours.

That's when it all gets fuzzy.

I don't remember much of that night. What I do remember is waking up, naked in the studio. I had gotten completely hammered, that chick drove me back to the station, we had sex,  and then she left. What's worse is that I was naked and the morning show producer was slapping me on the face at 4AM in attempts to wake me up.  When I woke up I was still drunk and the producer had asked me if I was OK.

I was OK. Just brutally embarrassed. Good times.

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You Can't Steal Broken Equipment We Throw In Trash

Every time I think of this story, I get angry.  I consider myself to be a lifelong fan/student of radio.  I love it.  I am the type of radio nerd where I get excited to listen to a stations new imaging package, or take the time to get caught up on all the latest radio rumors, etc.  I love radio so much, I have converted my home office into a mecca of radio history.  I have lots of pictures, old microphones, carts, all kind of stuff that I keep for decoration.

One day I had noticed that the engineer had thrown away an old Shortcut that was broken.  This machine was in an old studio and had been there for years.  It was beyond repair so the engineer threw it away.  I asked the engineer if I could have it cause it would be perfect for my radio room.  He told me that it was unrepairable and I reiterated that I only wanted it for decoration.  So he said yes. What a huge score, I kept thinking about how nice it was going to look in my home office.

About an hour later the Operations Manager paid me a visit and asked if he could speak to me.  We had gone to his office where he confronted me about stealing station property.  I told him that I would never steal station property and he then asked me about the Shortcut.

I had told him about the conversation that I had with the engineer.  It was in the trash and he said I could have it.  The OM told me that this was considered stealing station property and that I was going to be suspended for 3 days without pay.

How in the hell could I stealing trash?  It was literally in the trash can.  The OM did not care.  He was always a stickler for the rules and when it comes to old equipment, protocol was that paperwork needed to be signed in order to transfer or sell any station equipment that was no longer in use.

I went to my car and got the shortcut out of my backseat and returned it to the OM's office. Fucking ridiculous.  Not only did I take a pay cut, I embarrassed myself.  In the three days that I was out of work, rumors flew around the radio station that I was stealing.

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Owner Gets Eye Full Of Condom

Back in 2001 I used to be the producer slash co-host on a morning show for a mom and pop owned radio station.  The owner rarely ever visited since the station was only one of many businesses that he owned.  One morning I noticed the studio hotline ringing around 6:30AM and answered it once we had gone into a song.

It was the owner.  He said that he was coming into the station with a reporter who represented the morning show on one of the local TV stations.  He then said that they would arrive around 7AM.  On any given day, when we got warning that he was going to visit everyone would do a mad dash to make sure the station was clean.  But it was 6:30 in the morning and barely anyone had gotten to work.

It sucked cause I was in the middle of a show and had to break away to make sure the station was presentable.  It wasn't like the station was a terrible mess but whenever an owner visits, there is always something that could be cleaned up.

I left the host in the studio to continue with the show and went to go look for stuff to clean.  I walked around and the place looked pretty good so I rushed back to the studio.  A little later the owner showed up with the reporter and we gave her a tour of the studio.

I didn't know exactly why the reporter was visiting us and I did not ask.  We still had a show to do.  A few minutes had gone by and the owner escorted the reporter to the conference room.  I know this because we could see through the studio glass that was where he had taken her.

Once our show was over the program director walked into the studio and told us that the owner wanted to have a meeting in the conference room.  It was the PD, myself, the host of the morning show, and the midday jock. 

The owner looked pissed.  I have never seen him so angry.  He told us that he brought the reporter into the conference room to be interviewed when they both saw a used condom on the floor.  It was not a wrapper, it was an actual used condom.

Damn, I never checked the conference room cause no one ever goes in there.  Besides it had windows and looked clean from the outside.  The owner demanded to know who had sex in his conference room and we all just kind of looked at each other.  No one knew where it had come from.  The owner bitched us all out and said he had never been so embarrassed in his life.  I don't blame him, it made the radio station look unprofessional.  Still, none of us had anything to do with it.

After work was done for the day I did what a lot of people who work mornings do when they get home, I took a nap.  I woke up around 2pm and took it easy.  When I grabbed my cell phone I noticed that I had an email.  It was from the owner.  Here is roughly what it said

I just want to apologize to you guys for this morning.  I now know that the condom in the conference room was not your fault.  I found out it was **CENSORED** and he has been let go.

It was the overnight jock who finally owned up to having sex in the radio station and the owner fired him for it.  Soon after, the station hired a janitor. 

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Tickets For Sex

We were doing a promotion for a really popular pop star to come into town for a performance.  We knew that this was going to be big since the artist had just released their sophomore album.  Like any other promotion we teased it repeatedly on the air and every single day I would get countless children calling me asking for tickets.

Occasionally, I would get moms calling into the radio station to beg me for tickets for their daughters.  One day a woman called me up and gave me a sob story how her relationship with her daughter was on the rocks.  I don't remember why.  She told me she was trying any and everything to mend the situation and had devised a plan to get back on her daughters good side.  Her plan was to score tickets to the performance to win her over since her daughter was a die-hard fan.

I told the woman that I needed to be fair to everyone and distribute the tickets normally.  She was just going to have to be the right caller at the right time just like everyone else.  By this time I had already spent over three minutes on the phone with her and I need to get back to work so I told her I had to end the call.

I hung up the phone and got back to work.  It seemed like the listener lines wouldn't stop ringing, all with people wanting the same thing.  The next night I picked up the listener line and it was the same woman as the night before.  She told me that after we had hung up she tried for the remainder of my airshift to call me back but the phones were all busy.  "Since we announced this performance, they haven't stopped ringing so I am not surprised." I told her. She again tried to sway me to giving her tickets for her daughter and I again told her that she was going to have to win them on the air like everyone else.  Then the woman says

"I'll sleep with you if you do this for me."

I said "Whoa, I don't do that kind of thing.  Besides, I don't even know you." 

I told her I respected the fact that she wanted to get some tickets for her kid but she could not offer sex to convince me.  She then says

"You're right, you don't know me but I am dead serious.  You get me the tickets, then you can come to my home and I will have sex with you.  Once we are finished, we never have to deal or see each other again."

I declined her offer.  I told her that I had to get back to work and hung up on her.  I thought, what a whore.

The next day I was sitting at my desk doing some show prep when the boss had approached me.  "I need to see you in my office."  We walked into his office and he had told me that a woman contacted him accusing me of asking for sex in order for me to hook her up with tickets.

"Aw that is some bullshit!  That is a lie, I would never jeopardize my career over some dumb shit like that."

My boss gave me the benefit of the doubt but we both knew how serious this situation could get.  He told me the woman had also said that she was considering taking the story to the newspaper.  I thought if I get accused of this and it winds up in the media I am done.  Even if I am proven to be innocent, this sort of thing never goes away and people will always assume that it was true.

My boss asked me what had really happened and I explained the situation to him.  I had mentioned that I initially recorded the conversation but later deleted it.

"Wait, a minute.  Voxpro keeps audio still on file that has been deleted."  YES!

We went to the studio and kicked out the midday jock to begin going through the audio.  It did not take long but we finally found it and we both listened.  The audio proved that I was telling the truth.

Oh man, that could have ended badly.

We called the woman and my boss informed her that I was also on speakerphone.  She started to yell at me accusing that I told her that in order for me to hook her up with tickets that she had to sleep with me.  She then told me that she was going to go to the media and get me fired.

"Lady, you're a real bitch.  Here, here is proof of our conversation last night because I recorded the whole thing."

I played back the audio.  After she heard that she was caught in a lie there was a moment of silence and then she hung up.  

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She'll Have The Lobster I'll Just Have Water

I had a really bad breakup.  After 5 years of dating the same woman she up and left me.  She said she was homesick and wanted to move back home to Texas.  We ended things on a good note but I was devastated.  As heartbroken as I was I did not let it effect my on air performance.  However once I turned the mic off, I was back to my depressed self.  Management knew what was going on and they gave me my space.  As long as I did not let it effect me on the air I guess they did not care much.

It did not take long until my coworkers and friends all started to try and cheer me up.  Some of them even suggested that I start to see other people again.  That was the last thing that I wanted.  I just wanted to go home after work and sit in front of the television and do nothing.  After a few weeks my friends started to insist that I get over it.  It was just too hard for me to do that because I still needed time.

My boss had randomly given me a Saturday night off.  I thought that was very strange because I work every Saturday night.  I wasn't about to argue and looked forward to a nice quiet night at home alone.  When Saturday came around I got dozens of text messages from friends inviting me to hang out at a local bar.  I did not feel like it and declined all invitations.  Apparently there was some sort of formal party that much of the staff was going to attend and they all wanted me to join them.

Around 7PM there was a knock at my door and it was my buddy from the station.  I invited him inside and then he tells me to get dressed, insisting that I go to the party.  After about an hour of discussing it, he finally convinced me to go.  I felt it was more of a chore to go to this party versus going for fun.

As we were in the car my coworker had pulled into a really nice restaurant.  He then turns to me and says "Look man, everyone is worried about you.  So, I wanna come clean and tell you that there is no formal party tonight.  We set you up on a date and she is going to meet you here in about 20 minutes."

"Dude, what the fuck?  I don't wanna be forced on a date with a woman I don't know!  Wait, she is a woman right?"  Hey, I had to ask since some of my coworkers had a pretty sick sense of humor.  My friend calmed me down and told me to do it as a favor to him.  I agreed.  I started to ask questions on who this girl was, how did they find her, etc.  He refused to answer any of my questions and told me I was going to have to wait and see.

I got out of his car and walked inside where they had a table waiting for me.  The place was really nice and did not look cheap, at all.  I was scared.  I was thrown into a situation that I had zero control over.  My friend was smart to take me to the restaurant himself cause he knew if I had my car that I might have skipped out on the date and gone home. Damn!  There was no getting out of it.

Finally my date arrived and she introduced herself.  She seemed nice at first and was gorgeous.  I thought, well lets see how this thing goes.  We talked a little and then the waiter came to our table to take our order.  I ordered a normal entry and had a beer to go with it.  She ordered from the most expensive section of the menu.  She ordered a filet minion appetiser, a lobster tail entry, and a $60 bottle of wine.  I thought damn, this woman must think I make a lot more money than I actually do.  I am not a cheapskate but I knew this was going to wind up costing me over $200.  If I had known the girl, liked her, and asked her out myself, it would not have been a problem.

I got over how much the check was going to cost me and we started to make some small talk.  I then started to notice things.  She would interrupt me, abruptly change the topic of discussion, and seemed disinterested in anything that I had to say.  She was extremely rude.

When the food came she started to shovel food into her mouth and talked with her mouth open.  It was amazing.  It was like this girl knew everything that annoyed the hell out of me and the universe plopped her right in front of me.  I was annoyed but I remained polite.  The situation grew awfully tense and it was clear that I wanted to wrap the date up so I could go home.  After the lobster and wine pig out she excused herself from the table.  Around 10 minutes had gone by and my coworker had walked into the restaurant.  He sat down at the table and I began to explain the horrible time I had with this woman.  He did not say anything and listened to my rant.  I was not happy.

After I caught him up to speed he had a huge smile on his face.  He said that the dinner was on the radio station, I did not have to pay for it at all.  As we got up to headed towards the exit I told him I could not leave because I wanted to wait for her to get back from the restroom.

"She isn't in the restroom, she left.  I know cause I saw her leave on my way in."

What a nightmare.  We left the restaurant and I saw the woman in the parking lot.  She was standing next to my car!  Before I could ask how my car ended up in the restaurant parking lot she smiled and reintroduced herself.

"My name is **CENSORED**.  The joke is on you.  Your friends set this blind date up as a distraction from your recent troubles.  They also told me all of your pet peeves and told me to annoy you.  I am really not vulgar or rude like that.  Oh my god, I don't eat like that either.  I don't even care for lobster."

I laughed and said "You could have fooled me."

She smiled and asked me not to be angry with her or my friends for playing a practical joke on me.  She asked me on a real date the following weekend and I said yes.  We hit it off and eventually started dating.  I was just relieved that the real her was nothing like the fake her.

I have some amazing friends and coworkers and this was just the right push I needed to move on with my life.  I still was not over my ex at that moment in time but it really helped me to get passed the breakup.  
          

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That Guy Is A Douche Bag

I work in a top 10 market.  One night, my intern had said **CENSORED** was a douche bag on the air during one of our discussions.  After about 5 minutes the studio hotline rang and I answered it.  It was the celebrity that the intern bashed on the radio.  I knew this had the potential to be radio gold so I hit record on the voxpro.

The celebrity wanted to know who called him a douche bag.  We were all in the studio on speakerphone so everyone in the studio was listening in on this conversation.  I took one look at the intern and he had a look of pure terror on his face.  He's a young guy and I always speculated that he was a coward.

He quickly maned up and said "I am the one who said it."  During situations like this I would normally intervene, but this time the intern was on his own.  The celebrity told the intern stuff like "Bitch, you don't know me.  Don't you ever disrespect me like that again or I will come to your job and beat the shit out of you."

I have never recalled another time in my entire career when it was that quiet in the studio.  Then, something unexpected happened.  The intern told the celebrity "Fuck you.  I am apart of this show and I will say whatever the fuck I want.  If you wanna come beat my ass, come do it now.  Just know, I will sue the shit out of you if you touch me."

It takes a lot to shock me, but that right there made my jaw drop.  "Holy shit!"  I said.  The great thing about all this was that I was recording the whole thing!  I never knew the intern had balls of steel like that.  This wasn't a megastar, but he was famous.  To top it off, the celebrity was just in the news for shedding all kinds of weight and gaining muscle for an upcoming movie role.

They exchanged insults for a moment and then the celebrity started to say that he was going to get the entire show fired.  Like a jackass the intern says "We got the whole conversation recorded, ain't shit going to happen to us."

I wanted to KILL him for saying that because what I feared was going to happen, happened.  The celebrity said "You do not have my permission to use this call on the air or on your web page."  It wasn't long after that when the celebrity hung up.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

By him saying that rendered the audio useless.  What good was it if I couldn't air it?

I bitched out the intern because I was angry. After a little while I calmed down and told the intern that I was impressed by what he had said.  He replied with "I am an unpaid intern, so I got nothing to lose.  If he did come to beat me up I would have sold the story to TMZ for money.  Then, I would have sued and got paid in court."

Even though he ruined what could have been the best phoner of my career, my respect grew for the man that day.

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Sales By Day, Pig By Night

I had one of the sales girls who worked at the station live in the same apartment complex as me.  I found this information out one summer day when I was at the community pool and saw her there.  She was older lady in her 30's, divorced, and from what I could tell, fairly nice.

This woman had an unfortunate accident over the weekend broke the large bone in her leg.  The bad thing was that she lived on the 3rd floor.  I know it was not easy for her because I had overheard her talking about how hard it was going up the stairs to another coworker.  Being a nice guy, at the end of the day I had asked her if she needed assistance getting up all the stairs after work.  She politely declined.

Around two hours had gone by and I pulled up to my apartment.  I was tired and ready for a cold beer.  Before I could leave the parking lot to go up to my apartment my phone rang, it was the sales lady.  She had told me she saw me pulling in and asked if I could help her.  "No problem, I will be right there."

The walked over to the building and saw her at the base of stairs.  "Told ya I would help you."  She quickly said "No, I do not want to trouble you."  I explained that it was no trouble at all.  As I was helping her up the stairs I noticed that with her injury, she really did need the help.  "How do you do this everyday?" I asked.  She had said sometimes she got help from neighbors and sometimes she had to crawl up the three flights of stairs to her apartment.  I thought that was inexcusable and offered to help her everyday until her leg healed.

As we reached the top of the stairs I wanted to make sure she got to her apartment okay.  As we were standing in front of her place she thanked me and I had told her that I would help her inside.  She told me no thank you and that she could take it from there. 

I was not going to argue with her, I needed a beer anyways.  To be polite I was lurking for a moment as I was saying my goodbye.  She opened the door and the smell hit me like it was a punch in the face.  Her apartment reeked of cat urine and there were things all over the floor.  I only caught a glance at the apartment but it had explained why she did not want me to help her inside.  It was bad, I would have never figured the woman to be such a slob.  It wasn't as bad as the kind of shit you see on the TV show hoarders but pretty damn close. From what I saw, there were pizza boxes, dirty clothes, trash, and all other kinds of shit just literally everywhere. 

Maybe that would explain why the woman was divorced.

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Sex With The Bosses Wife

Before you all go on to judge me and call me a terrible person, yes I admit it, I slept with a married woman.  It just so happened to be my program directors wife.  This is a very complicated situation and the only reason why I am sharing it, is cause I don't have to leave my name.

In any case, this sort of thing is like playing with fire.  I hated my boss.  He was huge dick.  I assume he hated me too, but I was a decent jock and a good worker so he kept me around.

I had got suspended because of some dumb shit I had done on the air.  To be honest, I don't even remember what it was.  It could not have come at a worse time because we had our yearly concert we were throwing that was coming up.  I was told that I could go to the show, but not be on the stage or introduce any artist.  I was mad as hell cause I promoted the hell out of that event.

On the night of the show I was backstage in the green room hanging out with the artist and record executives.  Once the show started everyone had pretty much disappeared to see the show except for me, the bosses wife, and a few other people.  We began to talk and she seemed sympathetic towards my suspension.  Somehow the conversation veered towards my boss and she was telling me all kinds of things like how she was unhappy, and sexually deprived.

After a little while my boss walked in and asked for me to run back to the radio station to grab some backup equipment.  I told him I was in "chill" mode and suggested that he got one of the promotions kids to do it.  He said they were all busy and then told me I was lucky that I was even allowed to go to the show due to my suspension and that I had better do it.

What an asshole.

I finally said yes and was surprised that his wife had said that she would ride along with me.  We talked more in the car while we were on the road and I started to jokingly say inside my head that I was going to fuck her.

The station was a ghost town, not a single sole in the building.  As we were getting the equipment I jokingly made a move and she responded.  She started to kiss me and I was like WOW!  What the hell am I doing?  That thought quickly escaped me when she unzipped my pants and we went at it.  During the deed I was telling myself that this was bad but she was hot, I was horny, and mad at her husband.  We finished, got the equipment, and headed back to the arena.

For the rest of the evening I kept wondering what I had gotten myself into and if I just killed my career with one simple nut.  Surprisingly, no one knew.  She did not tell him and we had gotten away with it.  I did not see or speak to her for several weeks.  When I finally got some alone time with her we had a short conversation about what had happened. She assured me that she wasn't going to tell and that she did not regret it.  That was a huge relief.  I admit, I was worried.

She friended me on Facebook and we would occasionally chat online.

A few weeks later I received a Facebook instant message from her asking for me to go to her house.  My boss was out of town attending a radio summit and would never know.  I took the risk, went to her house, and slept with her again.  There is nothing more disrespectful than a man plowing another mans wife in his own bed.

The affair went on for a few more months.  I slept with her dozens more times and we were never caught.  I know, I'm a terrible person but I don't care.

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You Racist Prick

I used to work with a guy who I used to think was a cool person.  We worked together for 4 years and had grown close.  Besides the work stuff, we would babysit each others kids, invite each other to hang out on the weekends, and I even stood in his wedding.

The station had let him go and promoted me from APD to acting Program Director.  I was given access to his email so I could pick up on the business he had left off on.

I must have gone through years of correspondence when I found an email between him and a colleague of his.  His friend had hit him up asking if he could give him a job with our radio station.  He have always been a very small staff and jobs don't open very often.  My former boss responded to his friend with the usual I don't have anything for you at the moment.  I was about to close the email when something caught my eye and I continued to read the email.  He had told his friend that he would offer him my timeslot if he could but was forced to have some "color" on the station for equal opportunity.

Man, that was really fucked up.  It made me angry that he would speak like that because I had never known the guy to even remotely have a racist thought inside his head.  I moved on to the response from the email and the friend said something like "Damn jigaboos, they ruin everything!"

I was crazy pissed off.  How unprofessional.

A few weeks later my former boss had messaged me in a private message on Facebook to see how I was doing.  I ignored him.  After it was apparent that I did not want to speak to him he messaged me with "So, you take my old job and now you don't want anything to do with me?  Real classy."

I responded with "Damn jigaboos, they ruin everything!"  

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You ARE The Father

Just like a lot of jocks out there, I went through my whore phase.  Sleeping around with questionable women, it was great.  I got a job at a station and did my thing.  I was there no more than a month when a larger market came calling.  I took the gig and left my previous station behind.

A few months had passed and I received a phone call from my previous employer.  They had told me that someone was trying to get a hold of me.  I thought it was strange and called the number they gave me to see who it was.

A woman answered the phone and she told me her name, and told me that I had impregnated her.  I did not recognize her name or her voice but she had said we met one night in a bar and slept together later that night.  I told her I did not remember it and she said we were both really drunk.

I was shocked.  I didn’t have any kids so I did not know what to do.  I called my family for some advice and they also did not know what to do.  I kept in contact with the woman and when the baby was born, she called to let me know.

I was still very unsure about how I felt about the whole situation.  I took a few days off and flew into town.  I went straight to the womans home to visit my “son”.  As I was about to knock on the door I asked myself “dude, what the hell are you doing?”

After thinking about it for a few minutes I knocked on the door.  The woman answered the door, she quickly smiled and invited me inside.  I did not recognize her, at all.  We chatted for a second and then she took me into a room to see the baby.

The whole situation was really awkward.  After seeing the baby, I did not sense a connection on any level.  She was all over me, suggesting that I hold the child, telling me funny things that he liked to do, etc.
I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to get out of there.  I made an excuse that I had to leave to get to the hotel and would be back the next day.  Before I left, I made sure I was not going to be blamed for being the childs father if I wasn’t.  I told her I wanted a moment alone with the child and once the mother left the room, I swabbed the inside of the babies mouth with a q-tip.  I am not the smartest man on the planet but I knew that I could get the DNA sample tested to prove if I was the real father.

The next day I flew out.  She had called me later on that day and I had given her an excuse that I had to fly back earlier than expected.  I set up for a paternity test.  Wow, I had no idea those things were so expensive but it was worth it.

The results had come back and like I thought, I was not the father.  I called the woman and explained what I had done. She was furious.  She kept saying that I was the father and that there was no way that anyone else could have fathered her child.  I think it is funny when people try to argue with paternity test because they are 99.9% accurate.  I told her to give it up and to find that childs real dad.  She realized that her game was up and finally came clean.  She told me that we did meet in a bar but never slept with one another. 

Whew, that was a close one.  What a psycho. 

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Stalker

I had a string of bad luck when it came to women. I found one who I thought was a nice, normal, sweet, girl.  I could not have been more wrong.  I should have noticed the subtle signs but she was just really good looking and a bit shy.

It started one night at a club when I met this girl.  I was around 25 and she was 20.  Not old enough to get into the bars but that did not matter to me.  Did I mention that she was really good looking?  I only wanted to sleep with her and did not know we would wind up dating.

The fact that she was 20 years old kind of worked out because she could not get into the bars to bug me while I was working.  We spent a lot of time on the phone and would occasionally hang out at my house.  We had been dating for about two months when things started to change.  One night I went out to throw out the garbage and I noticed her car parked nearby.  What the fuck?  I walked up to the car and asked what she was doing.  She said she had come to visit me.  I said well why didn’t you call me or come up to the house?  Her response was “I don’t know.”

I was too blinded by her appearance to realize she was stalking me.  A few days later I went to the mall to see her while she was at work.  She worked at a kiosk for a cell phone carrier.  I asked her coworker if I could speak to her and she had told me she had gone to lunch.  Before I could walk away the coworker had stopped me from leaving.  She told me “your girlfriend spends a lot of time talking about you.”  Flattered, I said “really?”  The woman said “yes, but that isn’t all.  She also looks up your phone records”.

Wait, what? 

My girlfriend had worked for the same cell phone carrier that I used and was looking up my phone records to spy on me.  I was not happy about that.  It wasn’t because I had anything to hide and was more of a matter of principal.  When I got around to confronting her about it she laughed and said “Yeah.  You call your parents quite a bit”.  I don’t remember how she talked her way out of that one but I moved on and got over it.

Things started to go downhill from there and she was making more and more mistakes that led me to believe that this was not the girl I had initially thought.  I broke up with her a few weeks later and thought that was going to be the end of it.

She started calling me every night crying that she wanted me back.  When I would not answer she would leave long detailed messages rehashing the same.  I stopped taking her calls and it only pissed her off even more.  She started leaving 6 to 10 page letters on my doorstep and would also try to get a hold of me on the listener line.

It was not too long after that I met another girl.  I had zero intention on dating this one and just wanted to have some fun.  The new one was no where near annoying as the previous one.  After a short while she was already asking me to show her the radio station.  I told the new girl that it was not cool to show her around during business hours but agreed to do it late at night.  I figured just a few minutes showing her around while no one was there couldn’t hurt.

I waited until midnight and picked the new girl up and took her to the station.  I showed her around like I promised and that was that.  As we were leaving, I could see someone was standing by my car.  The station was in a rough area of the city so I did not know what was going to happen or who it was.  Sure enough, it was my ex.  She caused a huge scene and wanted to fight the new girl. 

I later found out that she had been following me for weeks.  Scary.

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You Got Knocked The F Out

One day I learned that the station hired someone who was considered to be a shock jock. It was a little odd since none of the other on air staff were controversial as most shock jocks try to be.  Odd as it may have been, it was not surprising since the program director was trying to do any and everything to keep his job.  This shock jock was nothing special.  He guy was kind of cool but I thought he was a bit of a fake person.

Six months had gone by and the station let some people go so we were all picking up the slack in other areas that we normally wouldn’t.  Namely board oping and promotions.  One day I was helping the promotions team put together some mailers the station was sending out to listeners.  We happened to be listening while we worked.

The shock jock insulted a woman on the air.  I do not recall exactly what had happened or what had led up to the incident but it was clear he attempted to humiliate the woman.  This jock was always doing this sort of thing so it really was not anything new.  About 30 minutes later the shock jock aired a call from the womans husband.  I assume she had called him to tell him what had happened and he called the shock jock to confront him.  It just so happened that the shock jock also aired the husband calling into the station.
He also tried to tell the man off and humiliate him on the air as well.  I guess the jock pissed off the wrong person that day because the man had gone to the radio station to look for the jock.  A few things about this story was funny because the man did not go to the station guns blazing.  He calmly asked the receptionist to page the jock and told her he was expected.  Once the jock went to the lobby to see who was visiting him the man started to beat on him.

This man was very large and the jock was a scrawny whimp with a microphone.  He gave the jock a really good beating and disappeared before the police arrived.  They later found him and arrested him.

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Station Taking A New Direction

I used to work for a Hip Hop station in a fairly decent sized market.  We did not have any direct competition but the market did have a Top 40 station indirectly competing with us.  One day we learned that a new Top 40 station had also emerged in the same market.

I thought it would be a no-brainer to swing the station more Urban since the market was already being flooded with Top 40 music.  Apparently management did not see it that way and leaned the station more Top 40.  To me, this was the dumbest move the company could have done.

So now there were 3 stations playing the same Top 40 crapola in the same city.  I was not happy.  Our imaging claimed we were a Hip Hop station but playing the same crap the real Top 40 stations were playing.  I could not understand the logic behind such a move and it was not long that I voiced how I felt about it.  We were in a programming meeting when I was explaining to the staff how dumb I thought the whole things was.

Someone finally spoke up and told me “You are old school radio, this is new school.  Urban stations now play the Lady Gaga and the Justin Bieber records.  You are too old to understand.”  I was not angry by the comment but also was not happy about it either.

“Is this what the Urban format has been reduced to?  It is situations like this is the direct reason as to why the genre is in the sad shape that it is in.”

Some of the staff looked at me in shock that I was speaking out the way that I was but I did not care.  I had just resigned my contract and I knew if they would fire me over my opinions, they were going to have to pay up.  However there was one thing that I was not telling anyone.  I actually wanted to get fired.  I grew sick and tired of radio.  I wanted to start my own business.  I was tired of working for the man and wanted to do my own thing.  So, I started not to care.

I still performed my job as I was instructed to but I would make sure that I would make snide remarks about how I felt so-in-so had no place on a “Hip Hop” station.  I would also criticize everything.  I was asked repeatedly by management to stop criticizing the station and the music on the air but again, I did not care.

It got to a point where the station had let me go.  This was exactly what I had wanted.  They were forced to pay out my contract.  Now, I had enough start up money to start my own business and that is exactly what I did.  It did not take long for it to become popular and in less than a year I was making more money off my business than I ever was in radio.

You fired me but I won in the end.

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Who Farted?

The year was 2002. I was not feeling well so after my airshift I was eager to go home.  I was walking out the back door towards the parking lot when my stomach started to hurt really bad.

I was in a long hallway that led to the exit and I could not hold it in any longer.  About 15 yards from the door I let a really nasty fart go.  No one was around and I was about to walk out so I felt it was safe.

I was no closer than 10 feet from the door when it opened.  Then, I see the program director, his wife, what looked like a manager or record exec, and a recording artist the station played walk in.

I thought oh great, there is no doubt that fart followed me.  Out of all the days to make an unannounced visit, its a day when I am dropping nuclear stink bombs in the hallway.

It was not everyday that the station had artist stop by but since I was also the music director, I knew that I had to stop and chat.  The group stops to address me and the program director introduces me to the artist.  After a few moments the smell hit us and was way too potent to deny.  It was obvious that everyone had smelled it.  Of course no one said anything but in the corner of my eye I could see the manager/record exec get that “someone farted” look on his face.  I was embarrassed but the damage was done.  I pulled the P.D. aside and told him I was not feeling well and excused myself.

In the years after that day whenever I would see the artist on television I would always laugh and tell myself

“That guy smelled my butt”.

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Lost Phone Equals Chaos

I had either lost my smartphone or it was stolen. All I knew was that it was long gone.  Little did I know it would turn out to be a huge inconvenience.

I had all my contacts in the phone, personal numbers to the station jocks, back numbers to the studio, my personal contact info including my home address, and even a few numbers for celebrities.  Like an idiot, I had taken the time to fill out all my contacts information which included the contacts picture.

I live and die by my phone so I quickly went out and bought an iPhone so I could track it in case this had ever happened again.

After about a week we started to get prank calls on the studio hotline.  It was slow at first but kept getting worse and worse.  I informed management that someone had our studio line and the number was changed.  After the number was changed I was then getting prank calls on my cell phone.  I then realized that the person who had my previous phone was playing jokes on me.  Once the immature individual realized that I had the same cell number, I was getting prank calls at all hours of the day and night.  I worked 7 days a week so it was hard for me to get up and go to the phone store to get my number changed.  Finally, I had made the time to do just that.

We were at our weekly programming meeting when I had let the staff know that I was being constantly prank called.  Literally all of them had admitted that they were also getting prank calls.  I was hesitant to tell them what had happened but I knew I had to.  It was because I had lost my phone.  They were not happy with me because they all had to change their number but they eventually got over it.

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